One
Whenever
I find myself
In a strange city
I imagine
I have found
My new home
And must find
A way
To live here
Twenty-Four
My life shrinks
I will share
All with you
Forty-Eight
This girl snagged
The handsomer twin
You once coveted
They are living
Now in Paris
Where she suffers
A treatment nearly
Identical
To your own
Do you recall
That evening when
After dinner
She flashed
Her frying pan
Advising
We request
Its lustrous twin
As a wedding gift
I marveled at
The steel already
Turning black
Eighty-Two
Thinning
Or not
Gaining
Teachers asked
Are you ill
Even
Sent me home
Before
The bell
Pale because
I could not eat
What she cooked
Or there wasn’t
Enough
To go round
Was I merely
Telling the truth
One night when
Mother and Father
Brought a sweet
To me
Paying
My loving
Ransom
One Hundred and Nineteen
This was the year
That was not
A year
The winter
Burning
Off fear
The spring
Producing
Few flowers
Summer
That long summer
Walking on
Old legs
Or walking not
At all
The fall
I do not know
Will come
The fall
My child leaves
For school
I wish
For time
To pass
Or not
To pass
At all
Author’s note: This is an extract from a chronicle in poems of the year and a half when, not yet middle aged, my wife and I found ourselves both diagnosed with cancer. Bedside in the hospital, in a hospital bed myself, in the extremities and purgatories of our treatments, these poems were written with the force of tears—of joy, fear, gratitude, dread, sorrow, hope. Publication credits: “One” — Hanging Loose; “Twenty-Four” — The Rialto; “Forty-Eight” — Sugar House Review; “Eighty-Two” — The Interpreter’s House; “One Hundred and Nineteen” — Birmingham Poetry Review.
Originally from New York, Dan O’Brien is a poet and playwright living in Los Angeles. His three poetry collections, published by CB Editions in the UK and Hanging Loose Press in the US, are War Reporter, winner of the Fenton Aldeburgh First Collection Prize and shortlisted for the Felix Dennis Prize for Best First Collection; Scarsdale, and New Life. He is a recent Guggenheim Fellow in Drama. Dan O’Brien: Plays One is newly published by Oberon Books in London.