Nadine El-Enany
after Paula Rego
I was by the window.
When I tell the story
I am always the one by the window.
I’m never the girl on the bed.
I’m never kneeling.
I’m never holding
my nose or my breath.
I’m never between his legs.
The sun is shining,
the birds are singing,
the water warms in its jug
and I am by the window.
In the play the sword is raised
and I am always almost winning.
The dream is an unmade bed
and I was never in it.
If I could have been anywhere
I’d have been by the window.
Not a girl but a spider
taking myself out into the light.
Nadine El-Enany’s poetry has appeared in Butcher’s Dog, Magma, Propel Magazine, 14 Magazine, fourteen poems, Gutter Magazine, Black Iris, and Poetry Wales. She is winner of the Chancellor’s Poetry Prize 2024, judged by Imtiaz Dharker and Neil Astley. She was shortlisted for the 2023 Poetry London Pamphlet Prize.
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